wtf. wtf. wtffffffffffffffff.
My evening took a turn for the strange and unusual. One of those stories I'll get to tell my kids.
So. I went into the garage at my sister's house to, I don't know, check it out or something. The door closes behind me. Okay. Turns out the door locks automatically when you leave. Not okay. So here I am, 1 in the morning, dressed in pj pants and a tank top. No bra and no shoes. No cell phone, no money, no nothing.
I then did the following:
1. Cursed myself for being a fucktard
2. Momentarily thought I was a Winchester and actually thought I could pick the lock. I couldn't.
3. Wonder why I constantly get in these situations.
4. Tried every single window and door to see if my sister left one unlocked (she didn't)
5. Badassily undid the lock to her backyard fence thanks to my weetiny hands being able to fit through the spaces in between the wood.
6. Gave up on trying to find a way in the house.
So then, my friends, I started walking towards my mother's house. Five miles. On the highway. Bare feet. This. Sucked. Thankfully a cop stopped me during the last mile and drove me the rest of the way. This cop was gorgeous. He looked like Will's cop boyfriend on Will and Grace. Yeah. Hot. Too bad I had to tell him my whole dumbass story.
Made it to mom's house, woke her up and got the comfort only mom can provide. Then I called a locksmith, called a taxi to get me to Michelle's house to meet the locksmith. Locksmith was hot as fuck. He looked like Carmine Giovinazzo. He had tattoos on his hands and he taught me how to open a door using a credit card. Again, I felt like a dumbass explaining my story.
Came in. Pulled about four huge pieces of glass out of my foot. And now I'm watching Good Eats.
I'm hoping Michelle never finds out about this.
Still. Wasn't all bad. Interesting way to spend a few hours and I made friends with a cop, a taxi driver and a locksmith.